The pretty disastrous dress

This dress is a HOTT MESS!

I was walking through town on a scorching day in October. I’d just been told my work contract wasn’t going to be renewed due to economic difficulties so any form of impulse retail therapy was on the cards. I spotted this pretty floral dress- I just had to have it! The length and flare were perfect for the heat. Plus it has pockets! How boss is that?! Stylin’! At 150 bucks my emotions were sold on this dress.

Finally the Sunday I’d planned to wear it had arrived. Got up early to iron the dress and guess what?! The iron exploded right on top of the dress, burning tiny holes in it. I was so furious, I scrambled to put together another outfit otherwise I was going to be late for church. I was so upset I left the dress on the kitchen floor, didn’t care. WHATEVZZ!

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So… about three weeks later I was still keen on the dress, that orange was too pretty to ignore. The burnt holes were so tiny, they were camouflaged by the print. I gave it another go. Got up early again to iron the dress and get dressed for church. For some reason everybody in the house was in a rush and on time that particular morning. I was the last to exit the house and lock the front door. Once I’d locked the door, bag, heels and hair brush in hand I turned around to find all the cars in the driveway had gone, they had all left for church without me! I got left behind. Just great. A wasted outfit. Like what is it about this dress tho?! ANYWAY…

And then the final straw. My mom sent me to the mall to run some errands. I obviously wanted to look as pretty as a bird so I dressed up and off I went to run errands and well, window shop. As I sat down to try on a pair of shoes the damn dress ripped right through the back exposing my behind! Lord have mercy! This did not just happen! I panicked. How was I going to leave the mall, take public transport home? OH MY GOSH! NO! I plucked up the courage to ask the shop assistant girls to staple my dress together, luckily the shop was empty and the girls were very sweet and chill about it. Imagine asking a total stranger to get their hands under your ripped dress to staple it together while getting a full view of your behind? Embarrassing. Thank God I was wearing decent under wear, otherwise…

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Yeah! So the moral of the story is if you’re going to buy cheapies be prepared for a series of disasters.

…Oh pretty dress, it’s not me, it’s YOU! We just weren’t meant to be.

AngieTinashe. xx

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